


Let It all go

by Carol_13



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst and Drama, College, Drama, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, OT9 (EXO), Online Dating, Online Friendship, Online Relationship, Online Romance, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:07:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25701820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carol_13/pseuds/Carol_13
Summary: Baekhyun's life is normal: college, friends and fun. Everything changes when someone pretends to be him during a whole weekend while chatting online with an unknown girl.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Original Character(s), Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai





	Let It all go

**Author's Note:**

> ⇒I chose the song "That's Okay - D.O" to inspire me to write this narrative.
> 
> ⇒This narrative is totally mine so don't copy anything.
> 
> ⇒ English is not my first language so I'm sorry for future mistakes.
> 
> ⇒ This story is not based on real life events but I used real stories to inspire me.

_"You're trying to escape from your difficulties, and there never is any escape from difficulties, never._   
_They have to be faced and fought" - Enid Blyton, Six Cousins at Mistletoe Farm_

The wind blow against my face. I'm smiling slightly feeling the breeze and the smell of spring that passed and left the taste of approaching summer. This is my favorite season because it's at this time of the year everything seems so calm and peaceful everything seems in its place.

Looking at the street people are talking, smiling, moving on with their lives. It 's like nothing has changed in my old town and it scares me. I don't want to be here, but my parents decided to go back where we used to live, and once again like everything in my life I had no choice.

Right now, these first few days here are terrifying me more than anything. How will everyone treat me? They are going to ask me a million questions and the most horrible thing to think is that I will have to give some answers.

At some time, while concentrating on the loud music playing through my headphones, I was surprised by the tight hug that Jeehye gave me from behind.

"Just don't kill me by squeezing me, please," I say taking her arms from my back and laughing soon after. She's smiling so brightly that it's impossible not be contagious by it.

"You only risk dying of monotony if you intend to spend the summer like this. Hurry up, we are going to the public market to pretend we need to buy something."

"Pretend? And another thing you are here at my house to complain about my life? Just because I'm back in town does it mean that I have to go out and show myself around the neighborhood," I asked.

"Yes, people need to see that you are back more beautiful than ever."

"I hope people don't remember my existence," as soon as the words left my mouth I regretted saying them.

"I just ... don't want to be here."

"Sorry, for freaking out with you being back. Sometimes I can't control myself and I end up exaggerating," she says smiling.

"Let's go before I regret it."

"What are we going to pretend to buy," I'm laughing while saying this.

"We walk around and in the end, we don't buy anything."

If someone sees us, they would think we are lost because we passed the same places at least twice now.

"Jungmi? It can't be," someone yell behind me. Looking in the direction of the sound my eyes find a lady with a bag full of vegetables in one hand.

Luckily the person coming towards me is one of the sweetest people I have ever met.

"It's me. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well sweety. How long since the last time that we saw each other? You are so Beautiful."

"It's been almost 3 years," her expression was totally surprised.

"It seems like it was yesterday that you came to read at my house," the way she said it hit me in a way that I didn't think I would be affected.

I was expecting questions, strange looks, or even being ignored and treated like a child, but then Mrs. Noh is looking at me the same way she looked at me 4 years ago when my life was normal when I was healthy. Isn't it weird that I'm more scared of her treating me like a normal person? I don't think I'm used to people like Noh... Who see more than I am on the outside.

"You didn't even say goodbye to me," she wans't speaking intending to hurt me.

I needed to get out of there and take a deep breath. After an excuse we were leaving and Jeehye understood that I was not well. Some tears were streaming down my face.

"Shit, it's my fault. I'm such an idiot," Jeehye said quietly. She probably thought I wouldn't hear.

"Sometimes I have to face these things, right?", without thinking the words were out of my mouth. No more comments were heard. The last thing I wanted to hear was Jeehye talk about it ... again.

Jeehye and I arrived in silence at my house. After my tears, none of us said anything else. This doesn't mean that we are in bad terms with each other, this is our way of letting things calm down.

"I need to say something to you."

"You can tell me ... I won't be upset," it was my answer. I would be fine independent of what she was about to tell me. This is a lie.

"Okay. Just stop for a second. Did you realize that you haven't gotten over anything yet?"

This took me by surprise. All I did during all this time was to get over the past. She saw it all and now she says I didn't make it?

"Basing on what do you say this?" my question was straight to the point.

"You don't allow yourself to be happy. Your parents decided to go back here for you. They didn't do it to dare you or because they are being bad as I sometimes know you think. They thought about how difficult things in the big city were for you, they thought that being here with me, with your old friends in a smaller town, everything could return as close to normal as possible. You are my best friend and I want to see you happy, but you have to want it too.

It was true, every word, and because it was true, it made me angry. I didn’t want to be the one to blame because my parents left their lives in Seoul, I didn’t want people to change their lives for me, but in the end, there's no choice besides see people using this same argument that Jeehye is using now:

I did it for you

Jeehye knows every little thing that happened in my life, I couldn't lie to her. 

I'm afraid of what people might think of me. I've been through this kind of judgment more than once and I don't want it to happen again. I could make up any excuse to answer what Jeehye told me, but I didn't.

"I'm afraid of being happy ... Actually ... I can't be happy, not being stuck in this" I looked at my legs and then pressed a button that made me able to move inside my house. I didn't say goodbye to Jeehye. The only sound that was heard was the small noise that my wheelchair made in contact with the floor of the entrance door. The sound that carried the weight of my words that were still in the air leaving Jeehye without knowing what to do.

**I can't be happy**

✾Author's Note✾

 **PLEASE READ THIS** : I'm trying to make a good search about how is the life of someone who uses a wheelchair. This story is not made to make fun of these people. I intend to show that everyone can get through this kind of feeling: that you can't be happy because of a physically ou emotional problem. If you feel uncomfortable with my narrative or if at any point in my story you see that I addressed something wrong about people/individuals with disabilities **PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME.**


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